


How It Begins

by EvilPrincessKeri



Series: How It Begins [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 21:41:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20731202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilPrincessKeri/pseuds/EvilPrincessKeri





	1. First KIss

> ##  _ 5.03: Free To Be You And Me _
> 
> _ "Oh, no man. This whole industry runs on absent fathers. It's the natural order." Dean turned to see two bouncers coming down the hall "We should go. C'mon." _
> 
>   
_The two bolted down the stairs, Dean laughing the whole way. "What's so funny?" Castiel asked, his expression hopeful that Dean would explain the joke. _
> 
> _"Oh, nothing. It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard." Dean walked Castiel toward the Impala, crossing behind him to get to the driver side door. "It's been more than a long time... years." _

Realization dawned on Dean, a moment of clarity, as Cas opened the passenger door of the Impala and dropped into the seat, where he sat in stoic silence. Dean opened the door and sat down slow, but he didn’t turn the engine on. He stared straight ahead, hands on the wheel - 10 and 2 - for what seemed like an eternity. 

“We have imbibed alcohol and visited this den of iniquity. Are we finished?” Castiel asked in his usual deadpan. 

The line came out of his mouth before he could stop himself. “Oh, Cas, we’re just getting started.” He turned and gave the angel his most charming smile. 

Cas just tiled his head to the side quizzically. His trench coat was still askew. Dean leaned across to straighten it and found himself pinned by those sapphire eyes. Castiel’s expression remained quizzical and questioning. Dean couldn’t help himself, he had his very own angel - a rebel angel at that - right here. And this angel, who had pulled him out of hell, who had defied Heaven, turned on his family - all for _ him _ \- might die tonight. Dean leaned just a little closer and pressed a kiss to his lips; soft and sweet.   
  
His charming smile faded a bit, as Cas’ reaction was … nonplussed to say the least. Cas merely blinked and drew in a short breath as though he were about to speak.  
  
Before he could, Dean sat back and turned the engine over. “Let’s go catch ourselves a hurricane in a butterfly net.” 


	2. Second Kiss

**_5.04: The End  
_**   
After trapping Raphael inside the circle of holy fire Dean and Castiel had started to travel out of town together. Raphael insisted that God was dead, but Dean had convinced Castiel that he should listen to his heart. So he had done just that. 

More than a week had passed and Castiel had made little progress in his search for his father, but, he had heard rumors that Dean needed to be made aware of. He stopped in mid flight to make the call. This should have been good news, but, Dean was treating it like an annoyance. The conversation with Dean was, as usual, frustrating  _ and _ confusing. Dean was both. 

The conversation was not going as expected. Dean was unusually surly. He said he needed sleep. "Yes. I'll just..." The line went dead as Dean hung up abruptly. “...wait here, then." 

Castiel scowled at the long stretch of highway in the middle of nowhere. Dean had asked for four hours of rest, he could give him that. It was a small request in the scheme of things and he had already done so much more for Dean, would do so  _ much _ more. 

He clenched his jaw slightly and tried to focus his mind on his mission. Dean, while important, did not bear dwelling on for the next four hours. He went over the few disparate clues he had uncovered as to the whereabouts of his father. But time and again his mind slipped back to that moment in the Impala, and the warmth and softness of Dean’s lips on his own. 

Castiel reminded himself, for the thousandth time, that though he had been cut off from Heaven’s power he remained an angel. He loved Humanity as a whole, because they were beautiful works of art, precious creations by his father, but he had no feeling for them more than duty. Still, somehow, Dean  _ inspired _ him in ways that no other human he had ever observed had. 

He closed his eyes and said a quick prayer to his father for strength. But those lips; full and soft and warm. And Dean’s eyes, so green sometimes Castiel forgot they were only flesh. Often when these thoughts invaded his mind he wished he had been able to properly respond - to return the kiss, yes, but to have put Dean’s mind and heart at rest that it was a welcomed advance. Instead, Dean had quirked his lips in half a smile, made a joke and pushed it all aside as though it had never happened. All because Castiel had been lacking.

Castiel had never been afraid. In millenia on earth, in his many battles with mortals, witches, demons and yet more dangerous creatures he had never felt the touch of fear. Only with Dean did he feel that sensation; and it was … unpleasant. He felt it in small measure when Dean met his eyes, when Dean’s hand was on his shoulder, and when Dean had kissed him. He felt it overwhelm him when he saw Dean throw himself into dangerous situations. He was  _ mortal _ . The risks that Dean took were… terrifying for Castiel to watch. 

He shook his head and checked the time. It was nearly time. Not quite yet, but soon. Castiel could not help himself. He paced; as he had seen Dean do many times when he was agitated. It did not ease his mind nor make him less restless. 

Castiel extended his wings and flew to the Century Hotel in Kansas City. He would be early, but, he felt he could be quiet enough that he wouldn’t wake Dean. As he arrived though, he saw Dean, furious, turn his back on Zachariah. The angel was was raging at Dean. Castiel knew the sensation; Dean had a talent for inciting fury. But he saw the signs - Zachariah was losing patience with Dean. Before Zachariah could loose the might of Heaven on the man Castiel gripped Dean tight and flew as fast as he could back to the side of the road. To Dean it must have seemed an instant but for Castiel the flight took long enough to make a decision. 

Castiel watched as Dean got his bearings and turned around to see Castiel standing behind him. He chuckled a little “That’s pretty nice timing, Cas.” 

If only he knew, Castiel thought before he said with a small smirk. “We had an appointment.” 

Whatever had happened before Castiel showed up had shaken Dean. He reached out to grasp both of the angel’s shoulders. It felt nice. “Don’t ever change.” Dean said. 

With concern Castiel asked “How did Zachariah find you?” 

Dean dug into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone as he answered. "Long story, let's just stay away from Jehovah's witnesses from now on, okay?" 

"What are you doing?" Castiel asked with concern. 

“Something I should have done in the first place." Dean answered quickly, and they both waited while the phone rang through to the voicemail. Dean left a short message for Sam. He apologized for being short with him the night before and asked him to meet him to talk in person. He gave Sam a time and place before hanging up. As soon as he tucked his phone back in his pocket he looked back up at Castiel. “We gotta get going. Where are we?” 

Castiel took a step forward and caught Dean’s eyes. “Safe. For now.” 

“We have to meet Sam. We gotta find the Colt. We need to get moving.” Dean’s voice was urgent. 

Castiel reached up to put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, and flew him back to where the Impala was parked. Dean looked around, surprised still whenever they traveled this way together. He dug the keys out of his pocket and slid them into the ignition. He took a breath before he turned them, as he had the night outside that brothel. Castiel waited patiently for Dean to speak. “Man, I… I can’t let it go down like that. I have to stop Sammy from saying yes. We have to figure out…” 

Castiel slid closer across the bench seat, his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “We will find a way.” 

Dean paused and turned to look at Castiel. Those eyes, so green, so soft and sweet and worried for his brother met Castiel’s eyes and he saw it. Dean’s lashes fluttered down for half a second drifting to Castiel’s lips before darting back up to meet his eyes. Castiel watched Dean’s eyes harden as he fought the flash of memory for the last time they had sat like this parked in the Impala. It hurt. To watch Dean’s embarrassment, to see him flustered and unsure. 

Castiel hesitated. Uncertainty made him awkward. As Dean started to turn away, to turn the keys in the ignition, Castiel leaned forward. The kiss missed the mark, just slightly, landing on the corner of his mouth. The engine of the Impala roared to life, and the radio blared King Harvest’s ‘Supernatural Delight’. Dean’s hands dropped from the steering wheel and he turned, slowly, to look at Castiel. Castiel couldn’t read Dean’s expression, couldn’t understand the mixture of confusion, fear, hope, amusement and … something else he saw there. 

So, he sat back, stiffly, unsure and uncomfortable. He straightened his shoulders and awaited recrimination or punishment. He stared straight ahead; a soldier awaiting orders. 

When he spoke Dean’s voice was hoarse “Cas?” 

Castiel didn’t allow himself to turn and look, only glance sideways. He didn’t know what to say, so he remained silent. 

“Cas…” Dean’s voice was urgent, and shaking. “Did you… what was… man. I just had a hell of a night. Please… talk to me.” 

“I should not have done that.” Castiel said, quietly. 

Dean exhaled a shaky breath. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the head rest. Castiel watched him, as he had many times before. Dean wasn’t asleep, his face was far too strained and tense for sleep. The moment felt like an hour before Dean spoke again, making an effort to be light-hearted. “Well, no. Not like that. Should have tried the old yawn and stretch maneuver. Might have… given me a hint, so I could have been ready for that.” 

Castiel frowned. “Yawn and stretch… maneuver? I am not familiar with this… tactic?”

Dean lifted his head, and flashed Castiel a playful smile. “Let me show you.” He patted the seat next to him. 

Castiel slid over a little more. His knees elevated uncomfortably as his feet were now propped on the center hump. Dean gave an exaggerated yawn, stretching his arms as high as he could given the cramped quarters and low ceiling of the Impala. When he brought his right arm down again it rested, draped, over Castiel’s shoulders. 

“Oh. I see.” Castiel looked at Dean’s hand, then turned back to look at Dean. His face was so near now. His playful smile faded a little and Castiel felt Dean’s fingers brush through the hair at the nape of his neck. 

Dean leaned forward and brushed his lips over Castiel’s mouth again, the briefest of kisses. He wasn’t sure what to do, how to kiss back. He then leaned back, licking his lips and said, with only the slightest hitch in his voice “Like… that.” 

Castiel licked his lips, slowly. He imagined he could still taste Dean’s mouth on his, and then he met Dean’s eyes. “I… enjoyed that. Very much.” 

Dean relaxed, visibly. “Good. I… uhm. Me too.” 

Unsure what to do next Castiel slid back to the passenger's seat. They drove in silence for a long while, listening to the music on the radio. He was used to silence, comfortable with it, but he became aware of a knot developing in his stomach. This gambit had been… not a failure, but, he couldn’t call it a success either. He wasn’t sure what he had expected, or even wanted, but this was not it. 

“Dean.” He said. 

Dean didn’t look away from the road. “Let’s get the hell out of Kansas City. We’ll… find a motel, get some breakfast and… we can try again. When we’re not so… cramped.” 

Castiel exhaled a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding. “Yes. I…” 

“It’s okay Cas. I’ll show you what to do.” He did take his eyes off the road now, to give Castiel a smirk and a wink. “Trust me.” 


	3. Second Thoughts

** _5.04: The End_ **

Dean had left Cas sitting in The Impala while he went to get a room for the night. He had mentally debated a pair of twins or a queen and landed on a single queen bed. Because, he told himself, the room was cheaper and Cas didn’t sleep. He didn’t need a bed. That was why. There was no other reason why. 

He stopped by The Impala on his way to the room to pick up his duffel. Cas was gone and Dean scowled. He pushed down the keening disappointment and told himself it was for the best. This development would just complicate things. The Apocalypse, Lucifer and Michael, the Horsemen, the literal fate of the world rested on his shoulders. It wasn’t a good idea to start a relationship. Much less start one with an angel who had even less experience with this kind of thing than Dean did. 

He had told Cas what he had seen of the future; most of it, anyway. He didn’t need another attachment that could be used against him. It was already all too clear that Heaven would pull no punches. If he had any part in tearing Cas down to the faithless headonist he had met in the future he would never forgive himself. 

He unlocked the door to the hotel room and all but slammed the door shut. He tossed the duffel in the chair by the door and had taken no more than two steps forward when he felt the gentle breeze and rustle of wings that heralded Cas’ arrival. He turned, no longer startled by the entrance, but still agitated. 

Cas tilted his head, the way he did when he was particularly confused and his voice was filled with genuine concern “Is everything alright?” 

Dean ground his teeth to keep from shouting at the angel. Cas was the only being in the whole world he didn’t feel shitty around. He was the only person who made him laugh anymore. He had fantasized about exactly this for a week now. And somehow all he could do was snarl at this gorgeous creature, what was wrong with him? “No.” He growled. “No, everything is not alright.” 

Cas nodded gravely. “You have changed your mind.” 

Dean felt his heart jump into his throat. His mouth worked but no sound came out. 

Cas continued “I understand. I am asking too much of you, under the circumstances.” 

Dean still couldn’t find the words he needed to say. Cas wasn’t asking, he was  _ offering,  _ how could he think this was anything but a blessing; a benediction. He held Cas’ gaze, not knowing what to say. But the angel looked away, turned toward the door as if he would just leave. 

Dean grabbed for the lapels of Castiel’s trenchcoat, before he could take a step. He pulled on the lapels, but, you couldn’t move Cas unless he let you. In a rush Dean stepped forward and claimed Cas’ mouth with his own. He hoped that Cas was simply stunned, because he didn’t react at all. Dean’s hands moved up to cup the sides of the Castiel’s face, and he softened his approach tilting his head to the side. 

Cas’ lips were rough and chapped; his cheeks were covered in stubble and Dean could feel his eyes widen in surprise. He nipped at Cas’ bottom lip and slowly lifted his head to see Cas staring at him. He drew an unsteady breath and checked the urge to step away. Instead, he brushed his thumb over the spot he’d grazed with his teeth. Those damned eyes; so deep and blue he could fall into them. 

Cas blinked slowly, but he didn’t speak. He looked confused and, somewhat overwhelmed. Dean licked his own lips, still standing close enough that the unconscious gesture felt erotic. He leaned closer, and rested his forehead against Castiel’s wrinkled brow,. “Just… close your eyes, Cas… and… do what… feels good.”

It seemed like a long time before Cas responded. “But…” He began and Dean’s shoulders sagged. This was a bad idea, thought Dean, it was a terrible idea and Cas was about to remind him of that fact. “.. what do I do with my hands?” 

Dean bit back a laugh, it came out as a hoarse cough and his arms slid around Cas’ neck, pulling him close. After a moment he whispered “Just… touch me.” 

“But I…” Cas continued, his tone hesitant. 

“It doesn’t matter, Cas, just… anywhere. Really.” 

Suddenly Castiel’s hands were on Dean’s hips. Dean smirked at the mental image of the two of them, like a pair of awkward kids at some middle school dance. Dean brushed his lips over Cas’ lips once more, slow and gentle this time, patient. Cas snapped his eyes closed, so Dean tried again, another soft, brush of lips and Cas tilted his chin up a little and returned the kiss. Their mouths worked against one another at first, awkward and out of sync, but somehow in the moment that seemed perfect. 

Dean leaned into the kiss a little more and so did Cas and they found their rhythm. Dean slid his hands inside the tan trench to slide it down and off. Cas obliged letting it drop and pool at his feet, and then slipped his hands up and under the layers of Dean’s clothes to rest against his stomach. 

Dean gasped at the simple pleasure but the sound made Cas lean away in concern. Dean pressed forward another step keeping the contact of their lips and reveling in his touch.

They stood, hips together, wrapped in embrace, lingering in this kiss for what seemed an eternity. They made only small, slow changes to their positions. Cas sliding his hands up over Dean’s abdomen and around his back, where he dug his fingers into the muscles of his shoulders. Cas drew his fingers down Dean’s back and that made him groan. Dean’s tongue darted between Cas’ parted lips while his fingers untied his tie and discarded it, then moving to unbutton Cas’ shirt. As Dean brushed his fingers over Cas’ chest the angel moaned softly in pleasure, and then stepped back as though he had startled himself with the noise. 

Dean didn’t let him get far, keeping hold of the lapels of his unbuttoned shirt. Dean smiled, the expression spreading slowly across his face, as he took in the disheveled and disoriented state of his angel. He tugged on the shirt to urge Cas to step back into his embrace. “Like that?” 

Castiel’s eyes were wide, and a little wild. He kept his distance, seeming to need to catch his breath “I… yes. That was… extremely pleasurable.” 

“There’s more.” Dean chuckled, letting Cas have his space. His own heart was beating fast and his breath was short. If just kissing Cas was this intense he could only imagine how explosive the sex would be. A little shiver of anticipation ran down his spine, so he licked his lips and turned away a little to shrug out of his jacket and over-shirt. He dropped them on top of his duffel in the chair. He saw the clock on the nightstand; 4:32 AM. 

He steadied himself and turned back to look at Cas. Half dressed, hair mussed, lips pink and cheeks flushed. Dean saw it clearly in his head, all that he wanted to do to Cas in that state. The urge to throw him down on the bed and finish what he’d started was intense, he wanted it more than anything, but he was supposed to meet Sam in a few hours and it had been a long, long night. Three days long. 

He paced to the bed, and felt every muscle in his body tense as he realized that tonight was not the night. He sat down on the end of the bed and his voice was rougher than he meant it to be when he spoke. “Cas. We need to… stop.” 

Cas’ demeanor shifted subtly, his brows knitted together and his lips pursed in a half frown. “Was that wrong?” 

Dean groaned, “No. Hell no. Cas I…” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m trying to… I want this. You. But… not like this. Okay?” 

Cas moved to sit next to Dean on the end of the bed. With all the space there could have been room between them, but, instead Cas sat so close their shoulders were not just touching, but wedged together. Cas turned his face toward Dean, and, in very serious tones replied. “Not if it means being late to meet Sam.” 

Dean snarled in annoyance and wrapped his hand around the base of Cas’ neck and pulled him close for a rough, deep kiss. It was a quick, aggressive response to Cas’ assumptions. “I want you, Cas; all of you. I want to run my hands over every inch of your body and see your reaction when I find all the little spots that make you squirm. I want to make you gasp, and groan, and moan and blush. I want to taste you, savor you. I want to show you what I like. I want you to have time to … decide what you like. I want you to have time to … try things. I want it to be right.”

Cas listened with due seriousness while Dean spoke. Then, he pressed his lips to Dean’s, a soft, almost platonic gesture. “Then we will wait for the right moment. I look forward to… further lessons.” 

Dean laughed, relaxing a little. “Yeah. Me too.” He glanced at the clock again. “I should probably see if I can get a catnap in before I have to leave to meet Sam.” When Dean glanced back, Cas was gone. It was for the best, he told himself. Cas wasn’t some one night stand, so if he was going to take this risk he had to do it right. He kicked off his boots and got comfortable on the bed. He unzipped his fly; just because he couldn’t have Cas tonight didn’t mean he had to go to bed frustrated. And at least this time he was wrapped in the scent of him, had the taste of him in his mouth. 


End file.
